


What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?

by v_writings



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alex doesn't die, F/M, there's sex and lots of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 13:57:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12683310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_writings/pseuds/v_writings
Summary: When you went with Alex to drop off Scott at Charles’ school, this was the last thing you expected to happen.





	What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?

Is this what heaven feels like? With Alex’s arms wrapped tightly around you–  _is this what it feels to be in a higher plane of existence?_  It has to be, because you haven’t heard of anyone who experiences this in the same way you both do– as something so _ethereal_ , so _sublime_. 

Alex jokingly calls it _the magic of the afterglow_ – but he also feels like there is something he doesn’t quite understand that takes over the both of you when you’re together. Sometimes you can’t help but wonder if  _there is_ actually some kind of magic involved in it, because the connection you two share doesn’t seem to be as common as you once believed it to be. The way you get lost in him and his constant need to profess his love and devotion to you weren’t things you paid that much attention to before, but as the years pass and this _thing_ that binds you together only grows stronger, you can’t ignore the fact that the way you love each other is  _simply different_  from the way other people do.

* * *

You can’t even remember the exact series of moments that led you to end up pressed up against the wall of your house, naked, with your legs wrapped around Alex’s waist as he pounds relentlessly into you in the darkness of the night.

“Alex– _oh God_ – fuck me harder baby, _harder._ ” He rolls his hips against yours while kissing your neck before thrusting deeply into you again.

“I love you.  _I love you._ ” He repeats like a prayer against your skin. You know it  _very_  well– he never wastes an opportunity to tell you how much you mean to him.

“Your big cock feels so good inside me, baby.  _So good._ ” You praise and he trembles– his thrusts becoming less steady. “I  _love_ your huge cock inside me.”

“ _[Y/N], Christ!_  I’m so close–  _I’m gonna come._ ”

“Come inside me, Alex.  _Fill me up_ , baby.” You say and his mouth is suddenly on yours, pushing his tongue inside so he can connect it with yours.

“You are  _everything_  to me. I love you. You feel so good– so good! _Ah!_ ” He bottoms out and you feel his warmth release shooting inside you– some of it leaking out because you just  _can’t_ keep it all in. Your legs feel weak and you wouldn’t be able to be in this position if it weren’t for the fact that Alex is holding you up with his hands. He’s frowning deeply– and you can see that even if he just had an orgasm, he’s  _not_  satisfied. “You  _didn’t_  come this time, let’s go take a shower so I can eat you.“  He pulls his softening dick out of you but doesn’t let you down, instead he grips you tighter against him and carries you to the bathroom.

"Alex, you made me come  _twice_  already, I didn’t need to come with you this time.” You say with a laugh, but he shakes his head fervently. You wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head on his shoulder.

“You _always_  need to come with me– otherwise it feels like something is missing. Besides, it’s not like I’m complaining, is it?” He asks with a naughty smirk before giving you a chaste kiss. “Your pussy _is_ my favorite meal, after all.”

“ _Alex!_ ” You laugh as he sets you down to get the shower at the right temperature. Once that’s done he grabs your hand and pulls you in with him, holding you close while he kisses you under the stream of warm water.

“I love you. I never get tired of telling you that. I love you.” He mumbles against your lips while his hands cup your ass. “You’re everything to me.” He kisses your neck and then lower, until he’s standing on his knees in front of you. He massages your sides and kisses your belly before looking up at you. “You think this was the one?” He says, caressing your thighs. You shrug with a smile and bury your fingers on his long blonde hair.

“Who knows? We’ll have to keep trying, just in case.” You say nonchalantly and he smiles and you can see the  _pure_ happiness in his eyes– and it makes you feel the most important woman in the whole world to know you’re responsible for it. Alex lifts up one of your legs and rests it on top of his shoulder, effectively opening you up for him. He gives you no time to get ready; he begins licking you immediately and you gasp in surprise before a moan leaves your lips. He can taste himself inside you and it fuels him even more to continue devouring you while you press yourself against him until you’re a shuddering mess–  _finally_ reaching your peak with a scream of his name.

He licks you gently a couple more times just to help you come down from your high before kissing you softly and removing your leg from his shoulder so he can stand up. You’re grinning widely and he washes his face under the water before pulling you with him, and begins the process of cleaning you up. He washes your hair and body– and when he’s done, you do the same for him. His cock is hard as a rock by the time you come out, and he presses himself against your back while you finish drying yourself. He rubs his erection against your ass while one of his hands cups your breast and the other goes between your legs– where you’re already wet enough for him to insert a finger.

“You make me so hard–” he mumbles while kissing your shoulder sloppily. “So fucking hard, _so fast_. Always have.” You lean back your head against his shoulder and smile because you remember–  _yes_ , you remember it as it was yesterday– when you were two horny teens humping each other in a secluded corner of Charles’ library while he told you how much he liked you; or the countless times you sat on his lap in front of everyone and rubbed your ass on his dick until he was hard and trying with all his might to not give himself away. It was  _so_ difficult for you to stay away from each other for too long.

And then he was deployed, and you were  _forced_  to.

But you’re not going to think about that now, because he’s _here_  with you and  _no one_  will take him from you _ever_ again.

“I want you to ride me slowly tonight, to make it last as much as possible.” You shiver in anticipation and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you properly. He does– the  _same second_  he starts rubbing your clit. “Can you do that? Have me  _beg_  for you to make me come?  _Of course_  you can baby, you’re the only person who can make me beg like that.  _Fuck_ – I’m so hard  _it hurts_.” He groans and uses the hand that is fingering your pussy to press you closer to him, and he rubs himself on your ass harder. You’re not even bothering to try to answer him– you’re too turned on to do anything but moan and whimper. “Let’s go to our room, baby. Let’s make love.” You only manage to nod because you’re  _so ready_  for him, and he sits up against the pillows before pulling you up on top of him, wrapping your legs around his waist. He buries his fingers in your wet hair and brings your face to his to kiss you slowly– but _so_   _passionately_. He’s impossibly good at showing his emotions through his actions, so his kisses always speak for themselves. He’s telling you how much he loves you and how much he treasures the moment he’s spending with you. You rub yourself on his hardness before taking him in your hand, helping him align himself with you. You lower yourself onto him slowly, while he continues worshipping your mouth. You feel his arms wrapping around your back and his open palms pressing against your skin while you go  _up and down, up and down_  as slowly as you can manage.

He only stops kissing you when your moans are so loud that you  _have_  to pull away– or to kiss your neck before returning to your mouth. It will be hard to keep such a slow pace for as long as you plan, but you’re determined.

“[Y/N], please, go a little–  _mmm, so good_ – a little faster.” Alex begs for the first time and you smile, because by the time you’re done you will have lost count of how many times he begged you to go harder or make him come. So you shake your head and continue kissing him, tightening your muscles around his cock enough to make him whimper.

“We’re going slow,  _Havok_.” You know it drives him  _wild_  when you use that name during sex, and as you expected, he shudders and lets out a sinful moan that has you wondering if it’s worth it to tease him like this– because you sure as hell want to fuck him as hard and fast as he does. But  _no_ – the reward is going to be too fantastic to miss this opportunity. So you keep your pace and kiss him again, tangling his hair in your fingers.

“[Y/N]…  _I can’t take it_ … please fuck meharder, baby,  _please_ …” You shake your head and grin, while he whimpers and buries his face on your shoulder.

You keep going and  _finally–_  by the time you just can’t keep track of his pleas and he’s trembling with need– you lift his head up and smirk at him, and he knows  _it’s time_. He grabs your hips and helps you bounce on his cock faster,  _harder_. He connects your lips again in a desperate kiss and thrusts into you as hard as he can without making it uncomfortable for you.

“Oh yes, make me come,  _make me come_ –  _ah!_  I’m coming, baby, _I’m coming_ –  _AH!_ ” He brings you down against his dick hard and once again you feel his release inside you– and this time that feeling is enough to push you over the edge to your own orgasm and you scream his name, throwing your head back in pleasure. He sucks on your nipple while the last remnants of his release fill you up and you groan, pulling on his hair hard enough for it to hurt a little– and his hips thrust into you one last time before he’s completely done.

And  _there it is_ – now that you’ve both finished you can  _feel_ it. It’s the sense of  _rightness_ that comes with you orgasming together, like nothing but him can touch you and every problem you have is suddenly meaningless.

* * *

You wake up to the sunlight hitting your face, and stretch your limbs with the most satisfied smile possible. You can still feel Alex’s body grinding against yours, and the memory feels beautiful. That is, until you realize there is no Alex next to you anymore. You frown and open your eyes to look at his side of the bed, only to find a little handwritten note on his place.

_Scott’s mutation activated today. I’m going to my parents house and then I’ll come pick you up so we can drive him to Charles’ together._

_Love you_

_P.S. you looked so beautiful asleep that I had to jerk off in the shower_

You laugh out loud at the last part and leave the note on the mattress again before pulling the covers off of you and walking towards the bathroom, wearing only one of Alex’s old t-shirts. 

You shower quickly and once you’re done you wrap your hair and your body in two towels– walking to your room so you can start to get ready. You put on the same jeans you were wearing yesterday and a simple black t-shirt– barely caring that you look presentable enough. You are brushing your hair when the phone rings, and just by the feeling in your chest you  _know_ it’s Alex.

“Hello, this is [Y/N] speaking.” You say with a smile in your voice and you hear his laugh on the other side of the line.

“Hey beautiful. Did you see my note?”

“Yep. I’m already up, I just got out of shower a little while ago.” You say, pulling hard on a tough knot in your hair.

“Oh, good. Listen, I’m at my parents’ house and me and Scott are just about to head out, but we’ll take long enough for you to have breakfast. You good?”

“Yep, I’ll be ready when you get here. Love you,  _Havok_.” You tease and you know he’s smiling.

“Love you too,  _Aeon_.” You hang up with a huge grin and walk to the kitchen opening the fridge in search of something to eat.

* * *

You’re putting your keys on your bag when you hear Alex’s car parking on the driveway, and you just  _can’t help_  the wide smile that takes over your face. You hear the unmistakable sound of the door being unlocked before Scott rushes past Alex, heading straight to the bathroom. You frown and look at him worried that he might hurt himself or fall down due to the fact that his eyes are bandaged, but he knows his way around your house too well and the bathroom isn’t hard to find.

Alex walks up to you and picks you up, tangling your legs around his waist while he holds you up by grabbing your ass, and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in weeks.

Ever since he came back from the war,  _every kiss_  is like that.

“Scott is right there, babe.” You mumble against his lips but he just shrugs his shoulders and kisses you harder.

“He can’t see anyway, and he had a big drink.”

“God, I hope he doesn’t miss the toilet.  _You_  are cleaning that– not me.” Alex laughs and kisses you one last time before putting you back on your feet. You hear the sound of the toilet before the bathroom door opens and Scott stumbles out of it, feeling his way around the house.

“I’m ready to go now. Hi [Y/N]. I had this huge drink and I had to pee real bad.”

“I know Scotty. I’m all set, shall we go?” You ask them and Alex nods, kissing your lips quickly before walking ahead to guide Scott if necessary– and you lock the front door while they get inside the car. You sit on the front with Alex while Scott sulks in the back, and put your seatbelt on while Alex drives away. Once you’re on your way he takes a hold of your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours before kissing the gold band on your ring finger– the one that is almost identical to his. You love when he gets like this– domestic and loving and adorable and  _the most amazing person you’ve ever met_.

You both try to talk to Scott for the remainder of the ride but he’s not in the mood to make conversation– so you mostly listen to the radio and occassionally exchange loving looks and caresses with Alex.

“Oh God…  _the memories_.” You say as the mansion approaches, unable to keep the nostalgic tone out of your voice. “You know this is where me and Alex met– right, Scott?” You ask and Scott nods.

“He’s only talked about that a million times, so I have the general idea.”

“Well, it’s about to become a million and one.” Alex smirks, looking at you. “I remember seeing you and thinking that you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen.” He says and you bite your lip, trying to hide how much you  _love_ whenever he talks about this.

“I remember thinking that you were kind of an asshole, but a _hot_ asshole.”

“He  _is_  an asshole, but we could discuss the  _hot_  part.” Scott quips, scoffing.

“A really hot asshole with…” You say and Scott groans, throwing his head back.

“ _Don’t say it._ ” He begs, but Alex is nodding with a wide grin, encouraging you.

“…a  _really_  hot ass.” You finish with a very serious tone– and you’re sure that if Scott could open his eyes, he would be rolling them right now.

* * *

When you’re finally out of the car and standing in front of the mansion for the first time in  _years,_ you simply can’t stop the feeling of sadness that overcomes you.  _So many_  of you began and there’s _so little_  of you left. A tear rolls down your cheek without you realizing until Alex comes up behind you and wipes it with his finger, before kissing your cheek softly.

“It’s okay, baby. _It’s okay_.” He whispers and you nod, thankful that you get to share your life with one of the few people who will always understand what you went through–  _because he did as well_. You nod one more time and take a deep breath before smiling at him and he smiles back– but you can see that he’s hurt too. 

“I love you, Alex.” You say, caressing his cheek. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and leans into your hand, finding himself surrounded by your support– as always. 

“A hand, maybe?” Scott says from behind you and Alex moves quickly to help him. You enter the mansion together and suddenly you feel like you’re  _many_  years younger and are walking through these walls for the first time. You close your eyes involuntarily and you don’t open them again until you feel something colliding with you– and when you do, there is a girl that looks about 10 years old sitting on the floor looking surprised, with papers scattered all around her.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry!” You apologize, and Alex has to cough to cover the laugh that is seconds away from coming out of his mouth. “Go on, you airhead! I have to help her.” You whisper-scream with narrowed eyes and Alex walks away snickering with Scott, who is asking him what just happened. You kneel on the floor next to the little girl who’s already picking up her things and start helping her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” You apologize again and she nods but doesn’t look at you, she’s just looking down at the floor as red as a tomato. “I was… walking with my eyes closed.” You say, grinning sheepishly. 

“It’s fine.” She says softly, while you help her stand up. “I was distracted too.” She looks up at you for a moment before blushing again and looking down. “I have to go.” She scurries away and looks at you one last time before gasping when she catches you looking back at her, and walks away faster. You frown and snort before looking around to see if anyone noticed the odd exchange and there’s a girl snickering, looking at you. You lift your eyebrows at her, and cross your arms.

“She knows who you are. She was a bit…  _amazed_.” She says and you let out a surprised laugh. “ _Everyone_  knows. You’re  _Aeon–_ you’re like a legend around here. Your power is like… one of the coolest–  _ever._ ”

“Ah, you kids. I haven’t used that name in a _long_  time. I’m just [Y/N].” You shrug her off. “It’s really not  _that_ cool, but thanks for the compliment. I gotta go, nice seeing you.” You wink at her and she beams at you before you head towards the corridor where you saw Scott and Alex disappear.

You finally find him looking around, his face breaking into a bright grin when he finally finds you– and he extends his hand to you. You run the little distance that’s left for you to reach him and intertwine your fingers with his before grabbing his face with your other hand to press a soft kiss on his lips. You both grin into it and he grabs your waist to pull you closer, making you squirm a little in his hold before laughing. 

“Goddammit, stop kissing! You were separated for only five minutes,  _Jesus_!” You hear Scott complain, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“I guess  _nothing_  has changed.” You hear a familiar voice say and pull away from Alex abruptly, turning around. 

“Hank? Oh my God!” You say, letting go of Alex’s hand before throwing yourself into Hank’s arms, hugging him tightly. He laughs and returns the embrace before you pull away, looking mortified. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you! How have you been? Good? Wait, you’re not blue anymore.”

“He keeps him  _under control_  now.” Alex says from behind you, smirking. 

“Oh, that’s… good?” You say, frowning a little. Hank nods with a small smile. “Anyway, for your information– not _everything_  is the same.” You say with a serious expression. You lift up your left hand and wiggle your fingers at him, showing him your wedding band clearly. His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and he laughs, surprised.

“You’re married?” You nod and Alex does as well, hugging you from behind. Scott lets out a breath and throws his head back in annoyance. “I’m just going to shoot in the dark here but… let me guess– you eloped?” You grin and nod.

“Bullseye, McCoy.” Alex says, kissing your cheek before grabbing your hand. “Come on, let’s go find the Professor.”

* * *

“You can stay in this room tonight. Mine is two doors down.  _Two doors._ I can hear loud noises, and I really want to sleep in peace.” Hank says, leveling you both with a sharp look.

“I have _no idea_  what you’re talking about.” You say, frowning in fake confusion. “Do you, Alex?” He shakes his head, rolling with it instantly.

“Oh… it’s her snoring, isn’t it?” Alex says, nodding. “It’s  _definitely_  your snoring, baby.”

“Oh, dang it. You’re right– it’s my loud snores.” You say, hitting your forehead softly. Hank is looking at you, clearly _not_  amused. God, he  _definitely_ remembers how loud you two were when you were teenagers; not like that has changed with time– you’re both _still_ incredibly loud.

“ _Keep it down._ ” He says before walking away and you enter your room, laughing. 

You run to the bed and jump, throwing yourself in it with your arms spread wide. The rooms in this particular wing of the mansion aren’t for students, so the quality of the beds and sheets is  _incredible._ You close your eyes and moan loudly in pleasure, feeling the soft texture with your hands as you arch your back up before throwing yourself on the mattress again.

“Mmm…” You hear Alex’s voice and open your eyes, only to find him with his hand inside his pants, rubbing himself. He bites his lip and looks at you with a hungry expression, and you grin naughtily before closing your eyes again and rubbing yourself on the soft material, putting on a special show _just for him_.

“Oh, God, so soft. It feels  _so good._ ” You say, sighing in pleasure even though it doesn’t feel  _that_ good at all– but you know what it’s doing to Alex. “Oh, yes.” You moan, arching your back up again, and reach out to the hem of your t-shirt, taking it off quickly. You want to open your eyes to see him touching himself  _desperately,_ but it’s better like this– when it looks like you’re  _lost_ in the pleasure. You’re not,  _at all,_ but you know that if you keep this up, you will be very soon.

“Fuck.” Alex groans and you finally  _can’t take it anymore_ so you open your eyes and there he is, pants open and dick out, jerking himself off shamelessly. 

“Are you gonna stand there all night fucking your hand or are you gonna come here and fuck  _me_?” You ask, one eyebrow raised in challenge. His hips thrust into his hand and he looks at you like he’s one second away from eating you– and then he takes his shoes, pants and boxers off and walks towards you, unbuttoning his shirt. 

You make yourself busy getting naked and take off your own shoes and pants– which leaves you sitting up in the bed in only your underwear. By now Alex is completely naked,  _hard_  and ready for you. You don’t wait a second before you’re grabbing his cock and putting it inside your mouth, using your hand to take care of whatever your mouth is unable to cover. 

“[Y/N]!” He whines, one hand holding tightly onto your shoulder while the other buries itself in your hair, guiding you. “Fuck,  _fuck_ – so good,  _so warm_ –” He manages to breathe out between low moans and whimpers. You smile and release him so you can take care of him with your hand but you don’t even get to move it before his hands are on the back of your thighs and he’s pulling you up and wrapping your legs around him. He turns around and carries you to an armchair that looks  _way too old and expensive_ for you to fuck on– but you know that the _exact_  reason why Alex is now sitting his naked ass on it.

“You’re such a goddamn naughty boy, bringing me here to this chair to fuck you. You want everyone who ever stays in this room to see the chair where we fucked, don’t you?” You whisper against his ear while he grinds your pussy against his dick. 

“ _Yes._ ” He answers with great difficulty, because it’s not easy for him to talk when you’re sucking on the sweet spot he has right where his neck meets his shoulder. He grips your ass hard enough that you know the mark of his fingers will be there tomorrow, and searches your mouth until he’s kissing you like this is the last kiss you’re ever going to share, and you know you’re  _more than ready_ for him. Because his hands are too busy fondling your ass cheeks you’re the one who has to take care of guiding the tip of his cock to your entrance so he can  _finally_ bury himself to the hilt inside you.

You lower yourself into him  _fast and hard_ , because now it’s not the time for sweet, slow lovemaking– now it’s time  _to fuck_. He finally releases your ass and moves his hands to your back, wrapping them around you and bringing your chest directly to his mouth, so he can suck on your nipples as much as he wants to. You bury your fingers in the long hair at the back of his neck and push his face into your chest– a place you  _know_  is one of his favorites.

“My fucking naughty boy, fucking me in this expensive chair. Did it make you hard to imagine us fucking here?  _Fuck, baby! That feels so good._ ” He thrusts his hips up to meet you and nods, releasing your nipples and looking at you with a dazed expression. You kiss him quickly, rotating your hips while you do so. He frowns a little and groans lowly, opening his mouth a little wider for you to kiss. 

“The moment I–  _AH! Yes, fuck me harder, yes, yes–_ the moment I saw it  _I knew I would die_ if I didn’t have you riding me on it.” His head falls back and he closes his eyes, his hands grabbing your hips to help you and make sure you don’t get too tired. It’s such an incredible experience to see him losing control like this– or rather,  _giving it to you._  Because Alex is always so hell bent on taking care of you in  _any way possible,_ whenever you get a chance to take care of him instead, you make  _the most of it_. You do whatever it takes to keep yourselves from being too loud– whether it will be Alex sucking on your tits or you biting on his shoulder, because you know Hank will be pissed as fuck if he hears you any sound coming from your room. Which is why you’re talking only in whispers, and the only thing you hear besides your own responses to the pleasure are the sounds of your skins connecting and the sound of the leather of the chair straining with every movement you make.

You continue fucking each other until you recognize that your orgasm is nearing– and by the way Alex’s movements have started to become erratic and less controlled,  _so is his_. You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face on his shoulder, and he  _thrusts and thrusts and thrusts_  until you’re drowning a scream against his skin and he’s emptying himself inside you. 

Your body feels like it’s made of jelly and you melt on top of him, unable to do anything but take deep breaths and leave open mouthed kisses on his neck, accompanied by the occasional bites and a little bit of skin pulling that drives him wild.

“Do you feel it? God,  _I fucking love it_.” He murmurs, rubbing your back. 

“What?” You ask, so satiated that you can’t even hear what he’s saying anymore.

“ _The magic of the afterglow_ , baby. Oh, _it feels so fucking good_.” He groans, standing up and carrying you with slightly trembling legs. You practically fall together to the bed, him in top of you, nestled between your legs. “We need to get under the covers, need to clean you. With my tongue.  _Eat_. Delicious.” He mumbles incoherently, climbing up your body until his mouth is on yours and you’re kissing– and it’s _messy_  and _sloppy_ , but it feels so goddamn  _good._ Your hands are gripping his ass and you only manage to moan in different degrees of loudness to answer him– and a moment later you’re being lifted up and he pulls back the covers before placing you on the mattress again. Seconds later he’s kissing you again and then a thought invades your mind fast like a lightning bolt– and you get  _so angry_  at yourself that your eyes open wide and Alex pulls away to look at you, worried.

“Whatsappening?” He asks, slurring his words a little as he hovers over you.

“I can fucking  _stop time_ and I fucking forgot because you looked so fucking hot jerking off _god fucking dammit_  I had to hold my fucking moans when I could’ve fucking screamed as much as I wanted to and I’m so fucking mad right now–” Alex silences you with a kiss before he has to pull away because he’s  _laughing–_ he’s laughing  _so hard_  that he has to lie back on the bed and hold his stomach. 

“Oh my God, baby…” He says, covering his eyes with one hand, trying to regain his breath. You’re glaring at him because  _you’re angry at yourself, it’s not funny, you really wanted to be loud and you could’ve if you hadn’t forgotten about the fact that you can stop time at will whenever you want_ – and he’s laughing like it’s not his fault for looking  _so gorgeous_ when touches himself that it made you forget you even had powers to begin with.

“It’s not fucking funny, Summers. I’m so angry right now.” You cross your arms and he turns to look at you with a small frown. 

“Can you stop time now?” He asks, biting his lip.

“I already did.” You answer dryly.

“Good, because I’m going to eat that pussy like I’ve never have in my entire life and even if you try you won’t be able to do anything else but scream my name, baby.” You honestly can’t believe how  _fast_ your anger dissipates and is replaced by _pure_   _desire_ – but what you do know is that you only get a glimpse of Alex’s smirk before he disappears under the covers and makes himself comfortable with his head buried between your legs.

* * *

“Baby, I’m going with Charles to meet Moira MacTaggert, remember her?” You groan an affirmative response and he laughs before caressing your exposed thigh. “I’ll probably be back before you wake up again. Can you give me a kiss goodbye, baby?” You smile and open one eye to look at him and find him kneeling in front of you, resting his chin on the mattress.

“I can give you a quickie goodbye if you want, Havok. I won’t forget that I can stop time ever again.” His eyes widen and a smile slowly takes over his face, and he’s jumping on the bed and kissing you before you can even properly wake up.

“Have I ever told you how fucking much I love you?” 

“What? You _love_ me? I wish you would’ve said something sooner!” You say in fake surprise and he bites your lip in retaliation, laughing. “I love you too, Alex.”

The quickie– as it normally happens with you– doesn’t end up being a quickie at all; as a matter of fact, it ends up being a 3 hour lovemaking session with an extra half an hour that Alex uses to recompose himself so no one will notice he’s just had some mind blowing sex with his wife. It takes him more than ten minutes to say goodbye to you, and once he’s gone you are left thinking about the fact that  _so many years_ have passed, and yet you still feel like when you were two horny teenagers on the first months of your relationship– at the point where you just couldn’t get enough of each other and you were madly in love and  _nothing_  could go wrong.

* * *

There is an insistent tap on the window of your room that bothers you– and even though you try to ignore it, it simply  _doesn’t go away_. You groan and lift your arm from your eyes and turn your head to the window, where a tiny yellow bird is using its beak to tap the glass. You look at your wrinkly t-shirt and the book lying open upside down on your belly and realize that you fell asleep _– again_. The bird continues being annoying and you groan, closing the book and leaving it next to you on the bed.

“Well fuck you too little buddy.” You say to the animal sarcastically and sit up, stretching your arms above your head. You don’t know how long you’ve slept, but maybe Alex is already back and you can  _finally_  go back home. The bird is now standing still in the window looking directly at you, and suddenly, a Monarch butterfly comes from behind him and places itself on its head. You smile and all of a sudden there is a loud explosion– but before you can even process it you’re standing in the gardens of the mansion, looking at it explode with all the students standing safely around you.

A scream comes out of your mouth and you cover it with your hand in horror– unable to believe what just happened. You look around and find Hank, looking at the destroyed building with a horrified expression as well, and when you see Raven with him a dark feeling begins to settle in your chest.

“Hank! What happened?” You ask as you run towards him, but you stop dead in your tracks when he looks at you. 

You recognize  _that_  look.

He’s telling you _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, **I’m sorry.**_

“Where’s Alex?” You ask, unable to breathe, and the world feels like it’s closing itself around you.

“We were in Cerebro, someone took Charles… he was trying to stop them but–”

“Where is Alex!?” You screech, and everyone’s attention is now on you. You feel something salty on your lips and realize that you must have started crying at some point. It doesn’t matter. Only Alex matters now.

“He was too close to the explosion, [Y/N]…”

“No.” You say, clenching your jaw.  _This isn’t happening_. It can’t be happening. 

_No, no, no._

“[Y/N]…” Hank says, trying to reach out to comfort you, but you shrug him off with a glare.

“Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” You mutter darkly, swallowing the sob that threatens to come out.  _He_  can’t touch you, it doesn’t feel right. Only  _Alex_ should be touching you right now. 

And then you see him.

_Scott._

He’s running to you, and seeing him is your undoing. A broken sob leaves your mouth and you fall to your knees while he comes to you, looking terrified.

“[Y/N] what happened? Where’s Alex? Where is he?” You can’t reply to him because it’s just  _impossible_ to talk– but you see in his face that he already knows the answer. One moment he’s by your side and the next he’s gone, but you don’t care enough to see where he went. You don’t care about  _anything_ anymore except the fact that Alex isn’t coming back to you.

It’s not fair.

_It’s. Not. Fair._

You want him back, now. 

_You want him, you want him, you want him._

Come back. 

_Come back._

**_Come back._ **

“Stay away from her! Get away! [Y/N]! Don’t do this, you’re hurting yourself!” What? Is that Hank? Does it even matter? Is not Alex, so why should you care?

You’re on the floor curled up as small as you possibly can, wishing you could just  _disappear_ – wanting to be with Alex  _one last time_.

_It’s not fair. Give him back._

Your skin feels like its burning but it doesn’t matter, because it reflects perfectly how you feel inside.

“[Y/N]!” That’s a woman’s voice– but it feels too far way to pay any mind to it.  _You want Alex_ , that’s the only thing worthy of your attention. You want Alex and  _you want him now_.

Finally the voices disappear altogether and you’re thankful, because you need this kind of quiet to try and think more clearly about the fact that Alex is  _dead_. Another sob comes out of your mouth and is followed by dozens more, until you feel like your chest is being crushed by a force you can’t stop– and after some time you simply can’t measure, your sobs subside and you’re left curled up in a ball, unable to move, cry, or do  _anything_  else.

Dissociation. That’s what this is– you simply _don’t care_ anymore.

It’s done.

You uncurl yourself from the little ball you’d made– still not ready to open your eyes and face again the reality of a world that Alex isn’t a part of anymore.

_“Hi gorgeous, I’m Alex, and you are?”  
_

_“Hi, I’m not interested.”_

You gasp and your eyes open immediately, because you recognize those voices and you recognize that moment. That’s from the day you met Alex– from the first time you talked to him. And now that you’ve opened your eyes you realize that you’re not in Charles’ garden anymore, you’re in  _Somewhere Else._ Somewhere terrifyingly familiar that you’ve only ever visited  _once_  in your life– and you simply couldn’t come here again because coming here put your life at risk.

 _Somewhere Else_  is an indescribable place filled with every memory you have stored in your mind, every place you’ve ever visited, every second you’ve ever lived. It’s a storage room of moments that you can access as you desire, but the cost of doing so is too great– it’s  _too dangerous_.

And now you know why your body felt like it was burning. Your veins glow in an eerie orange light under your skin, and you know that this means this is  _too much_ for you– this is your body telling you that  _you’re not okay_.

You were young the first time you came to this place– it was during the first months you lived in Charles’ mansion. It had been part of your training, because he’d  _sworn_ that your power went beyond being able to stop time at will.

“ _Your power is incredible, [Y/N]_. _With it you can do incredible things… but there is more to it, I know._ ” You hear the memory say from some place and it makes your head hurt so much that you close your eyes again and bury your nails in your scalp to try to make it stop.

You didn’t want to come back here– you  _never_ wanted to come back here, so why are you here? Why have your body and mind betrayed you like this?

“ _Well fuck you too little buddy._ ” 

The pain in your head vanishes instantly– or at least you stop caring about it enough to not realize it’s there anymore. You slowly lift your head up and look up, only to find  _yourself_ staring right back at you. This happened  _moments_ ago. Or maybe  _hours_ – you can’t tell– but it’s definitely one of the last things that happened before–

You don’t know how  _Somewhere Else_ works. You  _don’t want_  to know. All those years ago you’d spent  _too long_ trapped inside this place until you figured out how to go back home, and once you did you didn’t wake up for  _months._ You remember Alex’s face when you opened your eyes, resting his cheek on top of your mattress while his hand held onto yours tightly.

And the memory in front of you is suddenly replaced by  _that one_ , and you see him again– so  _young,_ so  _different_. A smile tugs at the corners of your lips when you remember how much you used to love his short hair– and that’s when the version of him in the memory wakes up and looks at you, and his eyes fill with tears.

“ _[Y/N]… I never told you. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life._ ”

You can’t believe he’s gone now. You can’t believe you won’t see him–

No– _wait._ You’re  _here_. You’re here again, in the  _worst_ place you’ve ever been, the place that has hurt you the most and you have  _a chance_. You have the same chance you had the first time, to go back to the point in time you desire–  _to change the past._

You’re not a fool, you know you can’t go  _that_  far back because the results might be catastrophic– but you can go back  _enough_. Just enough to be again in the exact moment you need to stop the worst thing that ever happened to you from happening  _at all._

 _“ _Well fuck you too little buddy._ ” _You see yourself again, stretching, and then there’s the butterfly standing on the bird’s head, and the explosion, and a silver blur that you realize is actually  _a person_ getting you out of there– and then you’re standing outside the mansion seeing it burn. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, standing up. You concentrate and open them again.

 _“ _Well fuck you too little buddy._ ”_ The memory repeats and you steel yourself before moving towards it, feeling your skin burn hotter than ever. Your nails dig deep into your palms because  _it hurts so much to do this–_ just like the first time.

And all of a sudden– the pain stops.

You gasp for breath desperately and sit up, looking wildly to the room around you.

You’re in the mansion again, and nothing has happened.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Your head jerks towards the sound so fast that your neck hurts, but you  _can’t_ pay attention to that.  _You see it,_  the butterfly coming closer to place itself on top of the bird’s head and you know you have to get ready because  _this is it,_  you have only one chance and you  _sure as hell_ aren’t going to waste it. So you stare at it and the second it perches itself on the birds feathers you close your eyes and–

Nothing happens.

Absolutely  _nothing_  happens. The entire world has stopped turning, and everything is perfectly still– except for you. You’re running out of the room before you realize what’s happening, moving automatically to where you know Alex is.

_Cerebro._

You’re already running down the stairs when you notice that you’re shaking like a leaf– and not even balling your hands into fists can stop them from trembling.

You reach the door that leads to the hallway where the entrance of Cerebro is placed, and you simply can’t find a way to get air inside your lungs. You open the door carefully and the first thing you see is a familiar read beam in front of you, and the second thing you see is where it’s coming from–  _Alex._

_He looks so beautiful– so ready to fight, so ready to defend what he loves._

Hank is standing behind him and it’s clear he’s trying to stop him– and you can’t help but feel bad for having treated him so bad earlier. You’re going to apologize later, now there’s something more important to do.

You feel the familiar burning sensation and your skin glows bright again– and you realize that you have to  _hurry_ , because you’ve already spent way too much energy and if you don’t, time will continue its natural course without you being able to stop it– and everything will have been for  _nothing_.

You walk up to Alex and take a deep breath, steeling yourself. You move behind him and wrap your hands around his clenched fists, placing them back on his sides. You move his hair back and kneel, resting your chin on his shoulders so your mouth is right next to his ear.

“Let go, Alex.” You whisper. “Come back to me.”

It happens in seconds: Alex falls back into you, gasping for air, and thankfully there are no more plasma blasts coming from his chest– because that would’ve destroyed the entire place before the explosion had a chance. 

“[Y/N], what…?” He looks around, confused, and realizes what’s happening almost immediately. “[Y/N]… why did you stop time?” You’re sitting on the floor with him between your legs, leaning back into your chest, and all of a sudden you are invaded by an absolute feeling of  _desolation_ because _he died_ , you lost him– no matter the fact that he’s alive now, you already felt the crushing sorrow of knowing he was dead. 

You’ll  _never_  be able to forget what that feels like.

“You  _died,_ Alex. You died.” You whisper, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I couldn’t let that happen. I had to stop it. I had to. This whole place is going to explode the second I stop doing this.”

“This happened already? [Y/N]– what–” His expression suddenly becomes serious and he turns around to see you better. “Did you go  _there?_ ” You nod and sniffle, trying to calm yourself down. “Oh, baby.” He grabs your hips and pulls you against him, making you sit on his lap. “C'mere.” He brings your face to his and kisses you languidly, treasuring you. You feel  _too overwhelmed_ because you’d thought you’d  _never_ get to be with him like this again.

“I was such an idiot, Hank tried to stop me but I kept going, I kept going and I would’ve died if it wasn’t for you. You’re my savior–  _my everything_. I love you, I’m sorry. I love you so much.” Your lips don’t separate for even  _a second_  while he talks and that’s why some of his words come out muffled– but you understand everything  _perfectly._  And you feel it again– _the magic of the afterglow_ , except that you haven’t orgasmed together, you just love each other  _so much_ that you’re overcome with that wonderful feeling of rightness.

“I would’ve destroyed the world to get you back. I would’ve destroyed  _the universe_  if it meant we were going to be together again.” He grabs the back of your head with one hand to kiss you harder while the other grips your hip tightly.

“ _I know_  you would’ve. I know, baby. God, I love you. But we have to go, baby. Look at yourself, you’re glowing. Does it hurt too much?” He asks with a worried frown, kissing your hands.

“I didn’t even remember I was…” You mumble honestly, looking down at your arms. The moment you got Alex back you only felt relief, everything else stopped being relevant. “Come on, we need to get to somewhere safe. Some guy got me out the first time– and everyone else too.  _We_  have to go.”

“Okay, let’s go.” He pulls you up with him and you have to take the stairs because, of course, the elevators don’t work when time is stopped– so it takes you a considerable time to get outside; added to the fact that you’re already tired from having to get to Cerebro on foot the first time.

Once you’re standing outside by the trees, you look at the mansion and then at Alex, who’s holding your hand tightly in his and is smiling softly at you. You take a deep breath and his smile disappears.

“Look, Alex. I don’t know what’s going to happen once we get back. I have too much energy trapped inside of me now… and– and maybe it will be worse than last time. I just want to know that I love you more than anything, okay? And whatever happens… all I want is your happiness.” His eyes glisten with tears and he pulls you close against his chest. He wants to tell you to not say stuff like that– but in truth he’s thankful that you remembered that there might be consequences to all of this when he hasn’t.

“I know beautiful. I know. I love you more than anything too, and I’m yours until the day I die, okay? Come here, c'mere–” His last word is swallowed by your mouth and he kisses you  _so slowly_ , pouring all of his feelings for you into the kiss.

There is no time like the present.  _You_   _have to do it now._

You let go completely and time continues its course– and you feel a  _blast of energy_  coming out of you but Alex isn’t even bothered– he just pulls you closer and kisses you harder,  _desperately_. You keep on kissing because you might lose consciousness  _any second_  and you don’t want to waste a moment with him– but the time passes and not only did you not faint– you also  _never heard the explosion_.

You pull away from Alex and notice that while your veins have stopped glowing– there are burn marks all over your skin. If this means you won’t end up unconscious for a year– you take it gladly  _and with a smile_. While you’re inspecting your arms Alex turns to look at the mansion and his mouth falls open.

“[Y/N]…” He says, turning your face towards the building with his hand.

You expected the same wreck you had seen the first time the explosion had happened but instead, what you’re seeing is the mansion standing as beautiful as ever– like nothing ever happened.

“What the shit…?” You breathe out, unable to believe what your eyes are seeing. “It’s impossible that the explosion didn’t happen– the blast was already on its way and–”

“[Y/N],  _look at the trees_.” Alex says and you turn to him only to find him looking behind you, so you mirror his action and gasp when you see that all the trees are yellow– signaling that autumn has arrived. “Where are we?” He asks, looking around to see if there is anyone familiar he can talk to, but there’s no one around. As a matter of fact, this place looks  _too empty._ You frown and look around before your hand instinctively moves to hold one of Alex’s.

“I think that the question is…” You say, swallowing thickly. “ _When_  are we?”

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I had posted this fic already because it's been posted on my tumblr for over a year, and I just realized that I never did I actually wrote it at a time when I was incredibly bitter about Alex's death, so the relationship he has with the reader is a little too idealized as a result lol
> 
> If you liked it please let me know, comments are amazing ♥


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